If you must know the truth, I think I loved you. Maybe we weren't in love, but I loved you when I hugged you even when you hurt me. That was after you slept in (multiple times) and didn't have time for me, and I woke up early (every time) to make time for you to tell me so. That was after you said it's not your job to make me happy, while I wanted it to be mine to make you so; I worked hard to be successful even though it wasn't. That was after you were away for months, came back, and got annoyed with me for seemingly only wanting to lie down and be close to you. Forgive me for missing you, forgive me for feeling it had been too long since we could just be together, forgive me for feeling comfortable with being close to you, forgive me for feeling joy in just your presence, forgive me for feeling sadness when you're gone - and thank God that love isn't a feeling, or you'd have to forgive me for that, too.
We could pretend that love is something in need of being forgiven. Well, one of us could sleep easy and it woudn't be me. Thank God for your clean conscious, and while you're at it - thank him for your lower amounts of hassle.
Bitchy, am I? Maybe you'd know how it feels to be hurt if you ever knew how it feels to care.
and if you cared once, if I'm wrong,
thank God I can hope I am.
Forgive me for feeling doubt.
